Silence is how many men handle problems. It’s that classic guy thing to do – retreat to the cave and let it pass. When it comes to sexual issues, or sexuality in general, the temptation is even stronger to simply ignore it and it will go away. The problem is, there is usually someone else involved when it comes to sexual issues, and that person generally isn’t as inclined to ignore it.
You can’t blame guys for being hesitant about talking about sex problems. It seems the whole world snickers at the TV ads for ED drugs. What guy is then going to turn to his friends and admit he has ‘that’ problem?
I was talking to a man in my office the other day. He said he would never talk to his friends about issues with sex. I asked him what he would do if one of his friends came to him with a sexual problem. The guy looked at me and said, “I would die laughing!” He added, “Well, I might feel sorry for him, but heck, that’s what guys do.” I really felt sorry for this guy’s friends. So, I suppose we need to choose carefully whom we trust.
Taking that first step of reaching out for help can be terrifying. For many men, their lives and relationships are almost in ruins before they are willing to make that first step. Self-blame, guilt, embarrassment and this blow to their manhood can be paralyzing factors. Facing the fact that they need to get help often comes when they can’t avoid the issue any longer.
Many men will turn to the anonymity of the internet to seek help. This is a perfect setup for the scams and con-artists that are waiting for desperate men to stumble onto their promise of complete restoration of sexual virility. Men are often willing to pay anything, try anything and do anything to get their sex life back. This vulnerability is exactly what the hustlers are looking for.
Because of the code of silence, men tend to feel they are the only ones suffering with any sexual issue. They listen to their friends and it seems they are all doing really well sexually. The fact is, according to most sources, there are as many as one in three men with some type of sexual function issue. It can be premature ejaculation (the most common), ED, low libido, or just about anything at all.
Most men are amazed to discover that most of my patients are not elderly men. I have patients as young as 14, but the most common age is late 30s early 40s. These are guys in the prime of life and having sexual function issues is often devastating.
There are experts in sexual medicine who deal with these issues every day. The family practice physician is often the front line, but has the least training. Believe it or not, urologists don’t get much training in sexual medicine at all. So, it can take some real searching to find a sympathetic, knowledgeable doctor.
But don’t make the mistake of trying to ignore sexual problems – either medical or emotional. They don’t go away. They usually progressively get worse. You deserve to take care of yourself!
Ask for referrals if you aren’t getting the results you want. It might take some work, but you’re worth it!
Reaching out is the hardest step. Call your doctor. Guaranteed – no one is going to laugh.