How It All Began…

Frank Talk LOGOFor the umpteenth time, I did a Google search.  How hard could it be? Page, after page, after page.  Mostly ads. A lot of scams.  A lot of far-fetched promises.  Just the same advertisements, the same pseudo-medical sites, the same snake-oil salesmen. The same old bullshit.

I was 47 and 9 months out from prostate cancer surgery and getting a bit worried. Oh, I was cancer free. That was the least of my worries. It was the other issue that was bothering me. THAT issue. The one no one likes to talk about – ED. It had been a rollercoaster of a ride – a week here and there of almost like old times, then nothing. What was going on?  There was a small amount of progress, sure, but nothing like I had been promised by my surgeon. What was going on?

I had a million questions and was looking for someplace to ask them. I figured I just had to be searching wrong. There were a million support sites for Prostate Cancer. There had to be a ton of sites for the millions of men who had sexual issues.   I searched again: “ED,”  “ED Support,” “ED help,” “ED Forums,” “ED questions.” Nothing came up.

Oh, there were tons of sites promising help. There were Potions, powders, pills and pumps. The choices were overwhelming! Every silver bullet, every quick fix you could wish for was available for a simple click on Paypal.  Gingseng, Saw Palmetto, Horny Goat weed – you name it!

I had to be missing something.  I started asking for help. My wife is a media specialist librarian. I told her “I can’t find any sites for ED.” She laughed.  “No really!” I said.  “I can’t find anyplace that’s just a …you know…a regular site – with questions, and answers and real people.” She said she would check it out.

The next day she sent me an email telling me I was right. It seems that, indeed, there was no online community for men with sexual function issues.

So, to keep a long story short – I started a little website – –  at first just a discussion board. I told a few cancer sites about it and within the first week we had fifty guys on the boards posting. We were just a bunch of guys trying to figure out if what we were experiencing was normal (it was).  We wanted to know if there was hope (there was). Just to be able to talk about ED to someone who understood was the most amazing feeling.  The shared shame is a lot easier to bear.

So, that’s what started me on this trail. I never meant to do this. I never wanted to do this. I never dreamt I would do this. Sometimes I even regret doing this. But mostly, I love doing this.  And six years later? We’re  essentially the only active online community for men with ED.  Check it out!

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