Paul Nelson, ED Patient Educator
Paul has been an educator his entire life. These days, the subject matter is ED and the students are men seeking answers. Paul fought the battle himself, so he knows exactly how the men he is working with feel. After prostate cancer and surgery, he discovered there were almost no resources for men trying to figure out help with Erectile Dysfunction. Everything on the internet seemed to be either a commercial, a scam, or an encyclopedia. Even doctors he talked to didn't seem too sure of what to say.
So, he started a web site and community to get men talking. He visited urologists, hospitals and anyone in the ED industry who would talk to him. He heard of success stories and tracked the men and their doctors down. He talked to researchers, scientists, doctors, patients and even alternative medical healers. He noticed one thing. No one was talking to each other. After several years of gathering information, he just naturally started meeting with men to help them. He now works in a major New York City hospital as an ED Coach and patient educator for men struggling with ED from every conceivable cause.
Paul is president of the Erectile Dysfunction Foundation, Inc. and founder of FrankTalk.org, the online community for men with ED.
Consider this: There are over 40 million men in North America alone who have Erectile Dysfunction (1 out of 5). Most of them seek no professional or medical help. Several million men go to their doctors for help. 60% of ED drug prescriptions are never refilled. The average man on Erectile Dysfunction treatments gives up within two years.
Something is wrong. How can it be that millions of men are not willing to seek treatment, or if they do, give up on that treatment? It's a complex problem. There are many factors. First, it is still part of the man code to never admit sexual difficulties. Society still does not like to discuss sexual issues. Doctors get no training in erectile dysfunction treatment. Even urologists get only a few seminars unless they pursue it as a specialty. Men (even doctors) have real hang-ups about talking to other men about penises. Men feel a lot of shame about Erectile Dysfunction. Women often feel they are part of 'his problem'. Our current medical system does not make it easy to get help. There are societal issues about men, their sexuality, and their sex drive in general. We have never been taught how to talk about sex - let alone how to talk about sex that does not work! The list goes on and on. Each guy's story is unique, but probably similar.
So, where does ED Coaching enter? Here is one way to look at it. A Cardiologist or orthopedist can fix up an injured guy and eventually, give him full permission to return to his favorite sport. But if that guy is having trouble with his golf swing or backhand, he doesn't go to his doctor and say "Gee, doc. My swing isn't what is used to be. Can you help?" He goes to a sports coach who helps him. But why do men continue to go to urologists (surgeons) after they have been through treatment and say "Gee doc. My sex life isn't what is used to be. Can you help?" A urologist is rarely a sexual expert. These guys have studied and worked really hard for years to get where they are. Most of that time was probably not spent exploring new sexual horizons. Give them a break! It is simply impossible for any doctor to add in-depth sex coaching to his list of responsibilities.
ED Coaching and Sex Coaching are fairly new fields where the specifics of sexual techniques and skills are developed. In the case of ED coaching, the skills deal with how to cope with ED and make best use of the treatments available. For example, there is a best way to use a constriction band. There are more effective sexual positions for some Erectile Dysfunction treatments. They are some real secrets and skills to some of the treatments. As with anything, it takes practice and guidance to use all of them properly.
Most men dealing with Erectile Dysfunction have a LOT of questions. They also have a lot of worries. A session with Paul gives them a chance to talk to someone who can help with treatments, understands what they are going through, and assure them there is a very real hope of treatment and restoring function.
Many times it is a case of information overload. Men turn to the internet for help and end up getting confused and frustrated with all the seemingly conflicting information out there. Then there are the scams that masquerade as real treatments.
Talking to someone who has done the leg work for you, has sifted out the scams from the real deals, and has resources and contacts that most men or doctors know nothing about, can save you time, worry, heart-ache, and risk. Most guys are willing to play the game - as long as they know the players, the rules and exactly how the game is played. That's the coach's job - to teach you everything he knows so you can make an informed decision about your sexual future.